A wonderful caring soul here ,Turtlecrow has asked about our spiritual journey and what we believe so here is a little bit of herstory of my spiritual journey thus far,coming from a non religious family growing up, I was still influenced by the Christian religious mind and traditions especially the Church of Christ in my teen years because living out in the country and over 25 miles from any town in the middle of the Ozark Mtns. in Ozark county Missouri, the only place to go was to all the church doings at the church of Christ. This is a very conservative church, it is based on traditions and not solely of Christ, its a very divisive church, always arguing with each other and other denominations, they, thinking that they were truly the only true way. So I went mainly because of boredom and lack of any other social life, and there were some cute guys that went, which was my main concern back then.

I studied the bible on my own, would watch T.V Evangelist, and read christian  'religious' books, which was my only source of information, and so I was self taught,  and have continued being 'self taught' in all my religious pursuits to this day. By 'self taught' I mean not under any person group, or church/coven.I spent much of my time while attending that church arguing over the rights of women and that music and instruments were accepted by God , this church does not believe in using instruments for religious music and women were to remain silent in church.

In my young adult life I went back and forth in my religious beliefs from not having any to having many religious beliefs......This was the 70's and so during this time my pursuits were drugs, alcohol, parties and guys, then getting married and raising a family my thoughts went back to God, and the bible, not knowing much about any other belief systems just Christianity my time here was  spent on trying to determine which of the many doctrines and denominations within Christianity was the correct one, So here I am trying to find the 'right' one and never coming to a good conclusion. So I bounced around within Christianity' s various denominations for over 20 years, and up to 1996 I can say with all honestly that I had never had an experience, dream, vision, or felt the presence of God during that whole period, I finally came to the conclusion that I was never going to get the truth, how can I expect to know THE TRUTH and why would I think that I of all people will be able to pick it out of all these denominations, so I gave up on that task for I finally realised that it was impossible, and yes  it would seem I was a bit slow to figure this out, but you have to realize that the nature of this religion is that us humans are always wrong, and always the cause of all our problems or it is satan's fault, If you do good, and good things happen it was God who did it, if you did wrong and bad things happen it was your fault and satans.FEAR is the basis of this religion and once it has you it is so hard to get free from it, for me it has been like a horrible ADDICTION and it had me in its grip, and it has taken me years to be free of this terrible addictive like situation, it consumes you just as bad if not more so than any  food, alcohol, or drug addiction. Fear and religion once it gets a hold of you , it is extremely hard to kick it. It is like those poor souls,who are abused physically and emotionally from there supposed lover, she gets beat up , she leaves him and then she returns back to him , over and over again..........that is what this addiction is like!!!

My husband finally told me one December day back in 1995 , that he was more spiritual than I , that God can be experienced in and through nature. and he reminded me how miserable I have been when I 'try ' to be Christian, and not really true to myself. Because ( now mind you I studied the bible every morning for about an hour every day for most of my adult life, he did not, he wanted nothing to do with Christianity, so when he told me this , I thought , who in the hell did he think he was, I was very angry with him, but after I cooled down I realized that he was right, I was miserable on that path, so on New Years eve, I left  the 'religion' of Christianity, and for the next few weeks I was lost, and very scared because now I had nothing. Then one day in early January after I dropped hubby off at the truck, at that time he went trucking alone and I stayed home because I still had my last daughter in High School, anyhow, as I was driving through town I spotted a New Age used and new book store,  i have been in this town numerous times and never had I ever seen this book store, but this day i did, so I went in, and bought a copy of Starhawks book the Spiral Path  and Cunningham's book on Wicca, and a deck of Hanson Roberts tarot deck and book. Isn't it wonderful how Spirit leads and guides us when we become open to Her and when we most need it, I have never in all my years experienced this kind of guidance, or at least be aware of it happening, Spirit  may have but I was apparently not opened to it .. So for the next month or so i studied the Tarot, and did readings every morning and that replaced my bible study habit,  the meanings in the book helped alot   to guide me into a new way to see, and perceive the world around me, and if it wasn't for this daily ritual of tarot study I would of went back to Christianity when  fear would grip me.I. Began to visit this book store weekly and buy books and talk and become friends with the owner of the book store, and meet many folks on other spiritual paths that i was not aware of,  i would spend hours there meeting new people as they came in to browse or talk and buy books, and other 'new age' things, Wicca and Witchcraft books and crystals and tarot books were what I as drawn to and so I began to invest in  a rather extensive witchy collection, of which I threw away a  few years later when fear grabbed me after 9.11 happened and I thought that maybe the bible prophecies were coming true....................any hoo, back to that jan. winter, by the time Lammas rolled around I was ready to dedicate myself to this path. My husband after listening to what I told him about what I was learning realized that the pagan/wiccan life was what he believed and didn't know that his path had a name and realized that he had been Pagan all his life and didn't know it!!

So its been 12 years on this path, and although I had some Christian 'religious' addictive relapses, I have grown alot and my beliefs have expanded, and my tolerance for other religions and people  have grown, I am now only intolerant of intolerance..During these past 12 years,  I have been guided and taught by  many signs, totems symbols,  my spiritual guidance and helpers and teachers have been more numerous than I am able  to recount,  I have been gently guided and led by Spirit more in these last 12 years than I have ever been while on the 'religious' path of Christian denominational religion. As a religious person of the religion of Churchanity one really has no responsibility for their beliefs for it is already written down, or told to you every Sunday during the sermons. On my path now I am accountable for what I believe and do , and yes at times fear tries to take hold,  but it is becoming easier and easier not to be swayed or overcome by it. Just like any addict knows, there is always the possibility that what you were addicted to will come back, but when we learn that we are not our addictions, we will began to trust more in our ability to know what is right and best for ourselves, as we resist our addiction daily and moment by moment we will be able to have faith in our abilities , and love and forgiveness for when we fail, but rest reassured , we can be able to rise above these things that try to blind and oppress us, and little by little, day by day we will once again be able to  trust that still small voice  from within , and to know that we are truly not alone in our quest in this life as  we grow progressively toward our true, and highest potential.

My spiritual path is now a very blended ,eclectic mix of, wicca, hedge witchery, taoism,shamanism, and Universal & Esoteric/Mystical Christianity, (this form of Christianity does not believe in eternal damnation or hell, but we do reap what we sow in this life and the next.and we are held accountable for our actions,this is so different from the 'religion' of christianity that I am so oppose to)has opened me up to a wide variety of experiences , transformations, mini deaths, and cycles of rebirth within my Souls Journey, it has taught me that there are no corinky dinkies, no accidents, all things can and do have meaning, and messages within them if we remain open and aware , and when we do, we will come to understand than we are truly never alone in this process of growth and transformation.That the Universe and Mother and Father Great Spirit is always here for us, and always provides us with what we need in all aspects of our lives. It is truly a gift, this life we live,  so live it with intention, live it well, do what gives you pleasure, do what you desire, harming none.

blessed be

P.S. MY SECOND MAMMOGRAM CAME BACK GOOD, MY LADIES AND I ARE A OK